When Groomsmen Behave Badly: How to Handle the Wedding Day Outlier

Let’s imagine it’s the morning of your wedding day, and excitement fills the air as you prepare to walk down the aisle. 

But amidst the laughter and last-minute primping, there’s a rogue element that threatens to derail the day’s carefully laid plans – the groomsmen. 

Whether they’re rallying for one last round of shots, struggling to tie their ties, or simply lost in their own world, dealing with a group of rowdy groomsmen can feel like herding cats… or toddlers. 

But stay calm. I’m going to give you my best tips for wrangling the groomsmen. 

From the party animal to the attention-seeker, I’ve got ways to keep even the most out-of-control groomsmen in line. So grab your wedding planner (and maybe a lasso), because it’s time to learn how to control the chaos and ensure things go smoothly.

Managing the Party Animal

Let’s face it, every group has one – the party animal who’s always ready to turn up the volume. While their enthusiasm is contagious, it can also lead to some wild antics that you ~might~ want to avoid on your wedding day. So, how do you keep the party going without things getting out of hand?

• Set clear expectations ahead of time to curb excessive drinking. Let him know that while you want everyone to have a good time, there’s a limit.
• Appoint a responsible groomsmen “buddy” to keep an eye on them. This designated buddy can help monitor their alcohol intake and step in if things start to get rowdy.
• Consider limiting alcohol access or offering non-alcoholic alternatives. Sometimes, a little moderation goes a long way in keeping the party under control. (Maybe don’t let the alcohol make an entrance first thing that morning)
• Have a discrete signal with the bartender to cut off drinks if needed. This way, you can intervene without causing a scene.

Handling the Disheveled Groomsman

We all have that one friend who can’t seem to get it together, no matter how hard he tries. And while his laid-back attitude might be endearing in other situations, it’s less than ideal on your wedding day. So, how do you deal with the perpetually disheveled groomsman?

• Be super clear when it comes to the groomsmen attire… and do it well in advance. Let them know exactly what’s expected of them, from the color of their socks to the shine on their shoes… to making sure they wear deodorant.
• Offer assistance or resources for grooming and styling. Sometimes, a little help goes a long way in helping them look their best. Check out personal stylists in your area… there may even be a groomsmen styling service that offers on-site support on the day of your wedding.
• Carry an emergency kit with essentials like lint rollers and stain removers. Because let’s face it, accidents happen, and it’s better to be prepared than to have a wardrobe malfunction ruin your photos.

(And if you personally don’t want to have these convos with your wedding party, ask your wedding planner for some help.)

Dealing with the Chronically Late Groomsman

If there’s one thing that can throw a wrench in your wedding day plans, it’s a groomsman who can’t seem to make it ANYWHERE on time. Whether he’s always running late or he forgets important details, dealing with the chronically tardy groomsman requires some careful planning and patience.

• Establish earlier start times and deadlines for key events. Give him a buffer so that even if he’s late, he’ll still make it on time.
• Send reminders and alerts well in advance to keep him on track. Whether it’s a text message or an email, make sure he knows exactly when and where he needs to be.
• Designate a reliable point person to manage time and coordinate (your best man is GREAT for this, assuming he’s not the chronically late one). This person can keep an eye on the clock and make sure everyone stays on schedule.
• Encourage multiple alarms and planning ahead for transportation. Remind him that being late isn’t just a hassle for him – it can throw off the entire day for everyone else.

Addressing the Inappropriate Groomsman

Last but not least, we have the groomsman who just can’t seem to keep his mouth shut. Whether he’s making inappropriate jokes or hitting on the bridesmaids, dealing with this groomsman requires some serious intervention.

• Establish a zero-tolerance policy for inappropriate behavior. Let him know that certain actions will not be tolerated, and there will be consequences for his actions.
• Have a private conversation expressing concerns and setting boundaries. Be honest and upfront about why his behavior is unacceptable and what you expect from him moving forward.
• Enlist other groomsmen to intervene if necessary. Sometimes, peer pressure can be a powerful motivator, especially when it comes from friends who have his best interests at heart.
• Be prepared to ask him to leave the event if behavior persists. Sometimes, tough love is the only way to get through to someone who’s acting out. And while it may be difficult, it’s important to prioritize the comfort and safety of everyone involved.

Having these tips in your back pocket will make sure you’ll be well-equipped to wrangle even the wildest of groomsmen and ensure your wedding day goes off without a hitch. Remember, a little preparation and proactive management can go a long way in keeping the focus where it belongs – on celebrating your love and commitment with those who matter most. (And again—ask your wedding planner for help in any of these super uncomfortable situations!)